Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
