I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
