I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
