I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
