I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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