Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
