Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
