i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
