plz talk dirty to me
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
