They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
