Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
