i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
