Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
