he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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