'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
