They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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