You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
