Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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