i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
