hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
