what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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