my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
