this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize