I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
A+ Viking dick
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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