I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
