would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
smell my finger.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
