so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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