batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
