I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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