i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
