I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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