They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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