It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
