"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
cat food counts as protein by the way
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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