Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
