we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
