i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
