She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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