So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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