No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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