your room smells of hookers.
And success
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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