Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
