kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I see more hoeing in ur future
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