I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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