fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
