What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
