I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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