yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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