you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
