I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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