break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My liver just had a heart attack.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
