Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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