If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
