i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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