i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize