Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
