actually, I'm a sock model
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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