Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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